With Great Weight Comes Great Responsibility

When I was in high school, I weighed an average of 95 lbs. I remember being very excited when I finally broke the 100 lb mark.I tried hard to gain weight then, to no avail. In fact, being the gangly kid I was, I always secretly wished I would one day be fat. Like really fat. Orson Welles fat.

Well, it seems my wish is coming true.

Last night I found that my brother had recently purchased a weight scale. I hopped up on the thing and found, to my dismay, that I am currently weighing in at 210 lbs.

What?!

I thought I was somewhere around 185-190. This had to be wrong!

I took off my shoes. I was sure they were responsible for adding a significant amount of poundage.

Still 210.

Well, damn. Be careful what you wish for. I calculated my BMI on the internet and discovered that I am considered "overweight" now. In fact, about 30 lbs. overweight. I am heavier that 74% of men my age and height. Ironically, I still look skinny. My arms and legs are still as bony as they were in high school. So I am probably carrying about 50-60 lbs. in that spare tire around my midsection.

I remember seeing a doctor when I lived in New Orleans and he ran some tests and he said everything was fine, but when I took off my shirt and he saw the great bulk hiding in my gut he had a look of dismay.

"You probably want to do something about that," he said. "Carrying around all that weight in one area can lead to serious health problems in the future."

But he didn't know about my secret childhood wish of being fat someday. And my lifelong aversion to exercise.

Now, I am not completely sold on all this "modern medical data" about the "proper weight" and the commonly held view that "thin-is-in". Would I be any better off if I weighed the proper 184 lbs. recommended for my height and age?

I do have a gym membership and for several months I was working out pretty religiously. I was seeing very little results, even after three months, and this "high" they talk about was always elusive. Going to the gym just became a chore. It's something I feel that I "need" to do, like going to school when you are a kid. It's not always fun. In fact, sometimes it's downright miserable, but it is supposedly something that will benefit you in "the future".

I'll probably continue to make concessions, though. I'll try to be more active and I'll cut back on the beer and fried food. But sooner or later I should learn to be content with the way things are. If I didn't feel overweight and unhealthy before I jumped on that weight scale, why did seeing that number change anything? Does being considered "overweight" in a list of averages really affect me personally? What's good for the goose is not always good for the gander.

Right now, I am a gangly guy with a huge belly.

The question is: Do I use my obesity for good? Or evil?