After six months of only intermittent employment I have come to realize it is time to move on. My love affair with New York is on the wane. I must follow the trail blazed by so many before me in the unending search for a better future. I need to go where there is the promise of work. I am moving to California. Los Angeles. Hollywood.
It's been beckoning me for many years. I knew I would heed its call eventually. Why did it take 34 years, though? Well, because I'm a bit slow. Practically retarded in some respects. It's been proven time and time again that I have a thick skull and must be beaten over the head repeatedly to notice what lies before me.
It seems my path is a switchback twisting through the mountains and I've found myself doubling back many times. I have finally reached a decent lookout point from where I can see the summit and am trying to discern a route that is more straightforward. And it appears that the next site on that route is L.A.
So now that I have a firm goal in mind, I can plan accordingly and begin to gather together the things I will need for this next adventure. It will take several months. I will probably have to get some wholly unrelated work to build up some cash from time to time.
I also want to start making a to-do list of things I want to do in New York before I go. It hasn't been all bad, but I've given the Big Apple almost 5 years of my life and I haven't gotten a whole lot back. A few more friends. Some varied experiences that could help later on. But nothing that is tying me here. I spent too much time here cursing the fact that I had no attachments in my life. I probably missed some things wallowing in self-pity.
If looked at the right way that loneliness can be a gift. I am free to do whatever the hell I want. For a man approaching his mid-30s with a Peter Pan syndrome, that certainly sounds like a good thing. I may never grow up, so it's off to Never-Never-Land to play for a few more years. And hopefully make some money doing what I love to do. Dream.
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1 comment:
Wow, that was unexpected, but definately a good move. But what will happen to Steve? Can't wait to visit. Don't forget you have to be in town for my wedding. love, Sam
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