I'm quite sure this has been a topic covered in someone's stand-up material, but I have to mention it.
It's 2007.
You do not need to leave instructions on how to leave a message on your answering machine or voicemail. We know how to. So unless you're expecting a call from someone who just woke from a 20 year coma, "I'm not in, leave a message" will suffice.
We do not need to be instructed that there will be a beep and we should begin our message after it.
We do not need to be told to leave our name, number, and reason for calling. This is common practice now. If we really want you to call us back, we'll leave all pertinent information.
Some cellular companies also provide this extraneous information as part of their voicemail system, so after I've listened to you ramble on about how to properly leave a message, I have to hear an automated female voice reiterate the same crap.
And by that point I've eaten up a good chunk of minutes on my cell phone and am seriously debating whether I should waste more airtime to leave you a proper message or just hang up.
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