My two longest relationships both lasted nine months. I had one relationship in which we "dated" for approximately 16 months, but we only lived in the same town as each other for two of those months, and the other 14 were carried out in letters and phone calls and the occasional weekend trip to see one another. So that one doesn't really count.
The two real ones were nine months long. And I took them to term. When all was said and done, I felt like I'd squeezed a kid out of me. Or, as I had written in a notebook that I recently discovered: "I feel like I've taken the biggest shit of my life and unloaded a couple of organs as well. I am emptied."
So I guess the full gestation period for me is nine months. I am amazed by people who have been in relationships that are longer than that. I have friends who have been together for years and it just seems like something that is so out of my league I can't comprehend it. I can't imagine anyone who could put up with me for longer than nine months. And I certainly haven't met them yet.
Unfortunately, the pain of the delivery, the final moments of those relationships, are what stick out in my memory. And I lost contact with them after the "birth", so I have no idea how the "child" has developed. Whether the time we spent together affected them at all.
Hmm. What to do? Google them? And then what? Ask if they gleaned anything good and worthwhile out of our time together? Find out what good memories they might have of the relationship? And if they do have any, should I demand visitation rights? I want to remember the good times too. They're partially partially mine, right? I should be involved damnit!
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2 comments:
DaveO: A couple of questions here. What brought the relationships to an end? Do you see a pattern or a trend? Do you want a relationship that lasts more than 9 months? Or does 9 months seem like way too long?
Obviously, when it's over, it's over. You can google them. But if it ended really badly (which in both cases, it sounds like it did) you probably shouldn't do any contacting unless LOTS of time has passed.
Nah, I'm not really intersted in contacting them. Just a funny thought. I've actually stayed in touch with one of them. She's married now. We're still friends, in the "Christmas-card-every-year" sense.
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