Deconstruction of a MySpace Bulletin Post

Original Text:
for those who are on my friend list...
I totally have to agree with all of you who say people are getting fake In here. So I gave in and let's see who really reposts this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. It serves to eliminate people who are desperately trying to add "friends" like its a popularity contest in High School. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are.. Repost this if you are a friend.. if you don't, you get deleted.. Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "bye myspace"


for those who are on my friend list...
That means everyone who is reading this, because if you are able to read my bulletins, you are obviously on my friend list. So, I guess I should say "for you who are reading this", but even then I am kinda stating the obvious, unless of course this is meant for those who are NOT reading my bulletins, in which case I would make a plea to the reader to relay this message for me. I am not entirely sure how I would go about doing this. Perhaps I would make a list of all those people I would suspect of not reading my bulletins and provide their phone numbers so that the persons who do read this would be able to call them and notify them of the following important information, which I felt inclined to share with both friends, strangers, bands I'll never listen to, performers I'll never see perform, and anyone else i've decided to accept friend requests from, by posting this bulletin. i.e. the people on my "friend list". This message is for them(you).


I totally have to agree with all of you who say people are getting fake In here.
Who the hell is saying this? Really. Aside from posts like these, I've never had anyone honestly come to me and complain that people are being "fake". And what does that mean? It means that I feel that I am being ignored by you. I may have 1,893 "friends", but dammit, our particular myspace friendship really means something to me. And I'm a little upset that the only time I hear from you is when you have a show to promote. Who do you think I am, buster? Some kinda myspace whore?! Well fuck you!!

So I gave in and let's see who really reposts this. This is a test to see who's paying attention.
That means you Little Miss High-and-Mighty. Don't think I haven't been reading your comments. I know that you went to TGI Fridays last Saturday and got ripped on shooters. Shall I refer you to Karen's comment on the 13th? And who the hell is Sebastien?

It serves to eliminate people who are desperately trying to add "friends" like its a popularity contest in High School.
Because myspace is not like high school at all! I mean, why don't we hang out? I thought we were tight, yo. (Did you get that? I was trying to sound "street" there. Sometimes it's hard to get the inflection right in emails and stuff. That's why we should hang out more. I'm sorry i said those things earlier. i didn't mean to say fuck you. I was in a weird place. It's just...you seem to be having a lot of fun...with only 34 myspace friends! You realize I have 1,859 more friends than you? If this WAS high school, I certainly would've been invited to TGI Friday's last Saturday, don't ya think?)

This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me.
Why aren't you paying attention to me? I mean, like, I go out of my way to add cool Flash animations to your comments and you, like, never write back, or send a message that says "Hey! Cool comment! I noticed you put that Neutral Milk Hotel song on your page. Even though I hear it on 6 out of 10 peoples' pages, I still think you're cool." Like, that's not a lot to ask, is it?

Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are..
I've never even met the three people who always respond to these things, but I guess they are my "true friends". Unlike you.

Repost this if you are a friend.. if you don't, you get deleted..
Sometimes an ultimatum is the only thing that works. But, I mean, I won't really delete you. Just in case you were on vacation or were too busy to repost. Or maybe you've got too many people on your friend list and get way too many bulletins each day to sift through. I know that happens. I mean, like, sometimes I'll spend almost 28 minutes just going through my bulletins just to see if you posted something. You always post the coolest things. Most of the times it's just bands posting about their upcoming shows...I know, right? Like I'm really gonna come see you play. Be happy I added you to my friend list dude. So, like, if you don't repost, I'll still be your friend, don't worry. But it'd be real cool if you DID repost. Then I'd know we were meant for each other...

Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "bye myspace"
That way, if someone really does think about you as much as you think of them, they'll click on it and try to talk you out of leaving. Cuz that's what "true friends" do!