A Karmic Spendthrift Am I

Yesterday I awoke to the twittered chirping of a dying car alarm. Instead of the annoying sequence of whoops and whirs, all it could muster were quick beeps, albeit repeated beeps that continued uninterrupted from 8am until 5pm, when either the car battery died or the owner came home from work and stopped it.

As a result of this noise pollution, I couldn't really sleep in.

I decided to return a pair of jeans I had bought over the weekend that, upon bringing home, I realized I didn't fancy at all. So I hopped the train and went to the Atlantic Station mall.

As I was leaving Old Navy, having successfully exchanged my jeans for a proper pair, and buying a shirt and some boxers, I was approached by a homeless woman with sparse facial hair. she asked if I had any money so she could eat.

Coming out of a store where I had just spent $50 on clothes, I didn't feel right telling her I had no cash. So I reached in to my front pocket to fish out a single dollar. My fingers fiddled amongst the crumpled cash in my pocket and pulled one out.

Damnit! It was a five!

"Thank you so much," she said.

"Oh wait," I stuttered. "That's my only five. Here," I bluffed as I reached back in to get one of the singles I had originally planned on giving her.

When I handed her the ol' Washington, her smile dropped.

"Nevermind," she said. "That's not enough for a hot dog."

I turned to the hot dog vendor behind me and realized that he was charging $1.50 per hot dog. I motioned for her to come with me and we approached the cart.

"Tell the man what you want," I said.

"Two hot dogs," she told the vendor.

"Two? Lady, you're gonna break the bank!"

"It's just...I'm sick from hunger...and I really..."

"M'aam," I said. "I'm kidding. What else? Would you like a drink?"

"A Sprite," she said.

"Two hot dogs and a Sprite for the lady," I said to the vendor, handing him the five I had originally pulled from my pocket. The total came to four dollars. I took my dollar change and started to walk away.

"Thank you for your kindness," she told me.

"You have a good day," I said, then walked off.

I felt like I had created a little bit of good karma in that transaction. The sun was out, it was a warm day, and I decided to walk around for a bit before catching a bus home.

And then I immediately wasted that niblet of karma, by following an attractive hipster girl an extra two blocks out of my way because her purse was inadvertently causing her skirt to hike up as she walked, allowing me a view of her underwear.