Simple Man

I think my approach to video games growing up has reflected my approach to life and gives some clue as to why I’m still floundering at the age of 31.

A lot of my friends loved video games. I enjoyed them as much as any kid, but at a certain point I got really bored with them. See, as I got older, video games got more strategic and complex. And I never liked those games. I liked games where the goal was to just shoot shit, jump over things or steal gold. Donkey Kong was simple enough. You just smashed things with your hammer and climbed ladders. Pitfall, you just swung over ponds of alligators, jumped over scorpions and stole gold. Pac Man, you just ate dots.

But then games started to have long-term goals. You had to do a combination of moves in order to succeed. You had to think ahead.

That didn’t interest me.

When I played sports as a kid, my goals were also very simple. I had no interest in the rules of the game. When I played soccer growing up, it was just because I liked kicking the ball. When I played football with the neighborhood kids, it was only so I could tackle someone and drive their head into the ground.

I was all about the visceral aspects of the game. Creating a strategy to win was very far removed from my mind. I wanted to feel the thrill of kicking a soccer ball as far as I could. I didn’t care where it went after that.

I don’t play video games anymore because they’ve gotten too complex. I remember playing a game at a friend’s house a few years ago and he explained that I should do this and that to get to the next level.

“Can’t I just shoot shit?” I asked.

He laughed at my unsophisticated approach.

Recently I watched a television show in which one of my short films was presented. The other films on the show were polished and well-produced, and mine stood out as a piece of trivial crap. I hadn’t made the film with any forethought. And I hadn’t planned on seeing it being broadcast anywhere. My brother, and a friend and I just went out and shot a bunch of stupid shit and a few years later I edited it just to learn how to use my editing software.

I reflected on many of the things I’ve done over the years, artistic and otherwise, and that same mentality seems to pervade all of it. Very little forethought. An improvised moment, little or no strategy, purely instinctual.

Perhaps I need a change. Maybe I should take up chess.